Satiric radio commentary for the 90s from the man who drained Lake Michigan and filled it with hot chocolate!!!

Harper's Index®: Charging Prisoners for Jail Time, etc., etc.

Stan Freberg here with a few statistics from Harper's Index®. Amount Albuquerque has started charging prisoners for each night spent in jail? $40. Does that include a mint on their pillow? Be right back. [:60 SPOT BREAK]

Freberg here. Percentage of Americans who think they're more likely to see Elvis than campaign finance reform? 48. Include me in that group.

Number of years the editor of Divorce Magazine spent working at Wedding Bells Magazine? 3. Well, that's about the average length of most marriages these days.

Number of feet the Dead Sea has fallen since 1950? 56. Well, hey, it's dead! Don't worry about it.

Percentage of Americans who say they would not enjoy spending time with their own clone? 70. Hmm. Probably argue with your clone a lot. Here, Freberg Clone, sign this off.

F.C.(high-pitched voice): Ahem..."Stan Freberg here."

S.F: No, that's not quite right, try it again.

F.C. (deeper voice): "Stan Freberg here."

S.F.:That's got it.

Copyright ©1998, Stan Freberg/Freberg, Ltd. (but not very) Distributed by Dick Brescia Associates and Radio Spirits, Inc.