Satiric radio commentary for the 90s from the man who drained Lake Michigan and filled it with hot chocolate!!!

The Airbrush Fairy

Stan Freberg here. Recently, the French postal authorities airbrushed a cigarette out of a famous Frenchman's mouth, for a stamp honoring him. The man had never been seen without a cigarette. Where could this lead? Be right back. [:60 SPOT BREAK]

Freberg again. The French post office recently honored the author and philosopher Andre Malraux by issuing his face on a stamp. But what's this? The picture that had featured his ever-present cigarette dangling from his lips had been retouched out at the last moment. Poof!--no more cigarette.

In accordance with the new government anti-smoking laws, it had been removed with an artist's airbrush. The famous photograph features his windswept hair, furrowed brow, and probing eyes, but the cigarette, which always dangled like a third lip, is gone on the new stamp.

Where could this "politically correct" trend lead us? In a revision of history, would a stamp featuring Franklin Roosevelt be altered? Would the "airbrush fairy" come in the night, and remove FDR's ever-present cigarette holder, jutting out of his jaw? Would Winston Churchill have his famous cigar censored out of his determined mouth, on the way to a stamp? What's going on here?

Smoking probably isn't a great idea, but let's not let some nervous postal authorities around the world be revising history on their stamps. What was, was. It's history.

Live with it.

Stan Freberg here.

Copyright ©1996, Stan Freberg/Freberg, Ltd. (but not very) Distributed by Dick Brescia Associates and Radio Spirits, Inc.