Satiric radio commentary for the 90s from the man who drained Lake Michigan and filled it with hot chocolate!!!

Harper's Index®: Hooting Neighbors, etc., etc.

Stan Freberg here with a few staistics from "Harper's Index®." Number of months two British neighbors spent hooting at owls before realizing they were hooting at each other? 12. Hmm. No comment. Be right back. [:60 SPOT BREAK]

Freberg again. Average number of acres added to Las Vegas each day? 3. Wow! That's the city that ate Nevada!

A couple of Halloween items now. Maximum distance that a pumpkin has ever been mechanically hurled without the use of explosives? 2710 feet. All right! With all the serious gatherings of men lately, it's kinda nice to know some men just gather to hurl pumpkins.

Rank of Hillary Clinton among the best-selling Halloween masks last year? (Laughs) Number One! Hmm.

Distance from the Sphinx's nose to the nearest Kentucky Fried Chicken place? 200 yards! Hmm. Just so Egypt isn't allowing the Sphinx area to get too touristy, huh?

Stan Freberg here.

Copyright ©1997, Stan Freberg/Freberg, Ltd. (but not very) Distributed by Dick Brescia Associates and Radio Spirits, Inc.