Satiric radio commentary for the 90s from the man who drained Lake Michigan and filled it with hot chocolate!!!

Fashions by...Pete Puma?

Stan Freberg here. As a man who follows the world of fashion, I thought I'd seen everything. But I wasn't prepared for a new line of dresses that not only doesn't flatter a woman's figure, it gives her huge LUMPS! Be right back. [:60 SPOT BREAK]

Freberg again. There, in the fashion pages of the New York Times, was a report on a new collection of dresses from the upscale Com de Garcon. On a Paris runway, it was greeted with gasps. The dresses appear to creat huge lumps all over a woman's body!

The model pictured with a huge lump on her back appears to be a female version of the main character in "Hunchback of Notre Dame." In fact, the Times reported that as the bumpy woman lurched down the runway, one photographer called out, "QUASIMODO!" As the Times put it, "Under the stretch fabric were stuffed lumpy masses, like collagen implants run amuck."

I once was the voice of an animated Warner Bros. character called "Pete Puma." When Bugs Bunny--with a mallet behind him--poured Pete a cup of tea and asked, " many lumps, Doc?," I replied, "Oooohhh, give me a lot of lumps! A WHOOOOOOOOOOOLE lotta lumps!" Whereupon Bugs slammed me over the head.

This new collection of weird garments from Com de Garcon should be called "The Pete Puma Collection of Dresses...with a WHOOOOOOOOLE Lotta Lumps!"

Stan Freberg here.

Copyright ©1996, Stan Freberg/Freberg, Ltd. (but not very) Distributed by Dick Brescia Associates and Radio Spirits, Inc.