Satiric radio commentary for the 90s from the man who drained Lake Michigan and filled it with hot chocolate!!!

"Mr. Unlucky"

Stan Freberg here. I've read about a man who's broken every bone in his body, and who has been rushed to the emergency room six times in one year! Be right back. [:60 SPOT BREAK]

Freberg again. Jack Jenkins isn't a skydiver, a prizefighter or a stuntman, yet he's broken every bone in his body. How come? He's just "Mr. Unlucky," he says.

As a child, he broke his collarbone ten times, and his right arm three times. Since then, he's fallen down a storm drain near his Chicago home and broken his left arm, collapsed unconscious after taking the wrong painkillers, and lapsed into a coma after being stung by his pet scorpion. Hmm, I hope he has a good hospitalization plan.

Yeah, Jack Jenkins is one man who shouldn't get out of bed; but one time in a hospital bed, he reached for a grape on his bedside table, fell to the floor, and broke his left arm for a third time, so here's a guy who shouldn't get into bed!

Good luck to you, Jack, as if that'll do any good.

Stan Freberg here.

Copyright ©1997, Stan Freberg/Freberg, Ltd. (but not very) Distributed by Dick Brescia Associates and Radio Spirits, Inc.