Satiric radio commentary for the 90s from the man who drained Lake Michigan and filled it with hot chocolate!!!

Flying Space Junk (1997 Version)

Stan Freberg here. Apparently there's a lot of space junk whizzing around up there. How many hunks of debris? Thousands. Be right back. [:60 SPOT BREAK]

Today the U.S. Space Command in Colorado Springs is tracking around 8000 objects at various altitudes, and not just pieces of Mir; everything from an astronaut's glove to spent satellites. "A glove?" you say. "What's the big deal?" Well, the big deal is all these objects are whizzing around Earth at about 17,000 miles per hour, and could cause potential problems for astronauts, you know.

Since the "space age" began in 1957, there have been more than 4500 spacecraft lobbed into orbit, mostly by the U.S. and Russia. Scientists say large pieces that survive re-entry can always do damage to property or life, but the odds are against it. The odds, huh? Was Chicken Little right after all? Heads up, everybody!

This is the increasingly paranoid Stan Freberg here.

Copyright ©1997, Stan Freberg/Freberg, Ltd. (but not very) Distributed by Dick Brescia Associates and Radio Spirits, Inc.